September 11, 2010

moving on

引越し途中で、自宅は既に荷物詰め始めたので乱雑なまま。
半端な感じで、最近は彼の家で寝泊りしてるので、
なんだか心もとない、というか、根っこがない感じでふわふわしている。

生活って、水とか、台所とかお風呂が近いか、というか、
自分の場所かどうかってことで、私にとっては自分への近しさが決まる気がする。

彼の家ってのがなんか私は好きで、でかい古いうちで
家族がたくさんいて、鍋釜のたくさんある台所の丸いテーブルには
いつもおばあちゃんの作ったおいしそうなおかずが置いてあって、
陽がいっぱいに射し、古い木の家具もいっぱいあって、
ごちゃごちゃしててきれいとは言いがたいが、なんかみんなかつかつしてなくて
仲がよくて暖かくて好きだ。

昨日はおにいちゃんの部屋で彼とゲームしてて
そしたらお姉ちゃんが木瓜牛奶作ったよって呼びにきてくれて、
そいでパパと彼とキッチンでお喋りしながら飲んだりして。

今まで、人の家族のなかにこうやって、ずるっと入ったりってことがないので
(ウーフとかとは、違うもんね)なんか毎日新鮮だな~って
自分でびっくりしている、私です。

朝、彼のセットした目覚ましが随分早く、5分おきとかになる(本人起きないけど)。
ので、私は起きてミルキーさんと遊ぶ。にゅわわわ~っと首のまわり撫でてあげ、
ぐるぐるを聞いて、たいそう満足する。寝ているのは、私が壁側で彼が真ん中で、
ミルキーが反対側の端っていう感じで並んでいるのだけど、今朝、あまりのかわいさに
「いちどまんなかに寝たい」と訴えたが速攻で却下された。ちっ。

今日たまたまwebでセラミックファウンテンというのか、猫用の、こぽこぽって
水がでるやつ、なんかあれ欲しいような…部屋のなかに水があるのって
いいと思う。はて、そうだった、彼に魚と水槽ね、とおねだりしたんだった。
猫がいても、大丈夫っていうから…(ほんとかな?)

いろいろあって、昨日は結局5時就寝。
もう少し寝たいような、でも荷物、詰めとこうかな~。
今日は午後から荷物運ぶ予定。
月曜からあっち(新しい家)で生活始めたいなあ。

出張の疲れが完全に取れてないのか慣れない生活か、
朝起きるとくっきりと眉間にしわが寄ってる今日この頃…

ほお、と思わずにいられないが、今はちょっとしんどいときっていうか…
わたしは今会社にいるときはあんまりハッピーじゃない。
でもなんか、努力するところっていうか、これはなんかうまいこといえないけれど
今が肝心っていう気がする。

仕事はまあ順調に、それなりに。
相変わらずdemandingな顧客だが、信頼感が最近増してる感じがひしひしと。
助けてくれた人たちがいて、めいっぱいに。どうもありがとう。
恩に報いるように、私がんばろうと思う。

それから、私は多分今の彼くらいの年の頃は夜中までとか休日もとか
ものすごーくガツガツ仕事してて、今彼がそんなふうに日々ものすごく幅を広げつつ
仕事をしてるのを見るとなんだか
「そうか役割だな。じゃあごはんとかできるだけ作ってあげて、サポートしてあげよう、
がんばれるように」とか思う。

私は今のところ、部下もそれなりに成長してくれてるし、
まあ目下仕事が思ったようには取れてないので、そんなに忙しくないんだよねー。
このままってわけにはいかなくて、次のステップにいくためにって
努力はしなきゃいけないけど…

なんていうか、私はお客さんが助けてくれるっていうか
最近ほんとうに聞けば何でも教えてもらえるくらいには、信頼されるように
なってきたなあ、という感じ。まあ、こういうとこはセールスとしての私の財産なのだけど
問題はアカウントマネージャーとして仕事を取りつつ、チームを動かしてくのには?
自分なりの分析とアクションアイテムの設定、してみようかな。
ちょうど、1年半が過ぎて、いいタイミングかもしれない。

強い心を支えるのはこの愛だって!

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Posted by: Lorenzo Torrella : May 9, 2011 01:48 PM

猫ってニクイ生き物だよね。
5匹もいるけど、邪魔にならないし
一緒にいてくれるし。
私も、こんなに猫にハマるとは思ってもみなかったよ。

我が家の猫たち、水飲むのが下手くそだったから
ファウンテン買ったのだけど、すごく飲むよ。
おかげで、膀胱炎もならなくなったし。
水飲み場は多い方がいいみたいだしね。
くるみみたいに、外にでっかい鉢置いて
魚が泳いでるのも憧れるよねー。

Posted by: みーねー : September 19, 2010 11:16 PM

そうなのそうなの!
猫さんとの生活、たいそう…
かわいいだよ~

ファウンテンって、やっぱり猫好きですかね?

Posted by: 茶子 : September 15, 2010 08:07 AM

おおっ。猫さんとの生活…。

セラミックファウンテン私も欲しいです。
ウォターファウンテンってのを使ってるけど
プラってのが味気ない。
セラミックの方が、掃除も楽ちんのようだよー

Posted by: みーねー : September 14, 2010 11:26 PM
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